The Idea of Living

The idea of living

living begins when I decide
who I am is more important that what I have
to live the life of what I thought I should be
who I should be
why I should be
and yet I am not fulfilled
I am not happy.
why?
cause I have not found myself
my inner being
who I am
who I want to be
and live as I believe

I live as the world thought I should be. I live as I was taught how to be
and yet I live as others live
a life of quiet desperation
loneliness
despair, pain, emptiness
why?
cos I am living as to who I should be not who I am
who then is the I?

the dreamer, the spirit, the wanting of joy, the wanting of being
just who I am
the little ripple in this ocean
the one with heart to say
this is who I am
this is who I want to be
and yet the whole world don't want us to be
we are to live as they live
cos it is the only way they know how
we live like crabs in a basket
pulling each other back into the basket

then how do I start living?
when there is no where else to go
when there is no one where else to turn to
except it is only me

it is now my choice
now it is who I choose to be
it is this moment that my life might be transformed

dare I make that choice
or am I just another puppet in the lives of others?

it is now I make the decision
it is now or never
have I got the courage?
do I decide I have got what it takes?
life goes in full circle and it is this point that I will return

A decision not made

is that a choice too hard to make?
is that a choice a pain too hard to bear?

this is what maketh a being
a who
a what

A hero

Make a choice

Do I dare live as I believe?

it is a call to live